By Karen T
© November 2004
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me and that's why I can turn them into zombies. Plus, zombies are the new black. ;)
Notes: Written for the 2004 La La La Ficathon.
Warning: Unbeta'd due to lack of time and gratitious presence of zombies.
The last time Sydney had checked the speedometer, its needle had been bouncing around the eighty-five miles per hour mark. She'd been impressed with that at the time, but now she wished Weiss had more of a lead foot.
As if reading her mind, the engine revved and the car jerked forward before a loud rattle under the hood compelled Weiss to ease off the gas some. "I still don't see anything, do you?" he asked, his voice strained as his eyes shifted up to the rearview mirror.
Sydney spun around in the passenger seat and gazed out at the dark stretch of road that grew long as she and Weiss sped away from Rambaldi's secret laboratory. "No, nothing," she reported, flipping back around so she'd be facing forward. Her right index finger never moved off the trigger of her Sig Sauer.
Weiss nodded in response to the news, but didn't look the least bit relieved. "They're there," he said ominously. "There's no way they've given up on us, not when there's a good three hundred pounds of flesh for them to feast on. Oh, fine," he huffed when he caught her eyebrows lifting, "three hundred and fifty pounds of flesh. That damn Starbucks down the street from the office is killing me with its frappuccinos."
She giggled, but then pressed her nose against her window when something in the trees bordering the road caught her eye. "You don't think we've outrun them?"
"They're zombies, Syd."
"Yes, and?"
"They're zombies and we're lunch to them. Or dinner. Or breakfast. What's the local time again?"
She ignored his question to ask, "So, what? Because they're flesh eaters--"
"And brain suckers."
"We can't get away from them?"
"Not that easily, no. Your description of them makes me think they're Haitian zombies rather than Hollywood zombies, which doesn't mean they're any less inclined to eat us but it does mean they're much less likely to stop chasing us. This is especially true if Rambaldi's the one who cursed them into zombies so he could use them to protect that artifact you just stole."
Sydney blinked and Weiss blushed. "I, uh," he stammered, his foot pressing down on the gas as if he could out-drive his embarrassment, "used to have a thing for zombies as a kid."
"That's okay because I apparently had a thing for them last--"
"Shit!"
The car swerved to the left, almost running off the road, as a pack of zombies made a surprise attack on the right flank of their sedan. Weiss, fighting to regain control of the car, spun the steering wheel right, then left, then right again while the brakes screeched loudly. Sydney, meanwhile, rolled down her window and began firing indiscriminately at the clammy, gray figures keeping pace with the speeding car. She had to admit she was quite impressed by their display of athletic prowess. That, however, didn't keep her from nailing the lead runner with a shot between the eyes.
"Where the hell did they come from?" she shouted, squeezing off shot after shot and trying to ignore how many of the wounded never stayed down, the blood streaming out their eyes, ears, and noses be damned.
"Classic sideswipe maneuver! They knew we were expecting them from the back so they-- Holy-- FUCK!"
This time the car swerved right as a second pack of zombies emerged from the forest and charged into the left side of the car. The sharp turn tossed Sydney into the car door, leaving her neck exposed for a zombie licking, which probably would have progressed to a zombie chomping if she hadn't righted herself and whacked the butt of her gun against the zombie's temple. The blow didn't kill it, but it did startle the zombie enough to make it slow down.
Still dazed from her zombie licking, Sydney stared at the blank-faced, drooling zombies converging on both sides of the car. Weiss's gun had run out of ammunition when he'd shown up outside of the secret laboratory to rescue her from involuntarily becoming zombie food. The last time she'd seen his gun, it'd been hurtling towards the head of an undead. That left her gun and her gun alone, along with the two clips she'd packed with her for the mission. She hated to be a pessimist, but things really didn't look very good. Especially since one zombie now had a pretty strong hold on Weiss's side view mirror.
"Weiss! Roll down your window! I have to shoot that zombie!"
"What?!" He gawked at her as if she'd just suggested he stop the car so they could offer their brains up as appetizers.
"I need to get rid of that zombie!"
"There's no way in hell you're going to shoot across my face!"
"Are we really having this argument?"
"Take the wheel and give me your gun!"
"What?!" Now it was her turn to balk. "There's no way you can--"
"Just give me your gun!" With that, Weiss snatched the gun of her hand and turned his attention to the zombies pounding on his window.
Left with no choice, Sydney reached across the center console and grabbed hold of the steering wheel as best as she could. The dirt road was narrowing into a windy descent down a hill, and it was taking all her focus to keep the car from flipping over.
She did, however, notice Weiss was making quick work of the zombies. He shot some, strong-armed others, and even managed to gorge a couple eyeballs out of their sockets. And when one rather dexterous zombie reached in through the open window on her side of the car to grab hold of the dashboard, she and Weiss exchanged roles without words or hesitation.
After moving the gun back and forth between them several times, the remaining zombies eventually fell behind their pace and she and Weiss were once again left zombie-less.
"That was close," Sydney said after catching her breath and doing a quick body check to make sure she wasn't sporting any teeth marks on her skin.
"Yeah." Weiss swallowed, the sound loud in the sudden silence. His eyes darted up to the rearview mirror. "They'll be back."
"Yeah." Frowning, she checked the status of their ammunition -- low but not quite dire yet -- then broke out into a toothy smile. "You were quite impressive out there," she declared, punching his shoulder good-naturedly.
"I was, wasn't I?"
"Very!"
"I was en fuego, baby!"
They broke out in laughter and Sydney relaxed a bit in her seat. She'd been saying it for years but she definitely needed a vacation. A very long one.
"Hey." She rolled her head towards Weiss to see him looking at her intently. "I wasn't going to say anything but ..." He shifted his eyes back to the road.
"What?"
"You haven't said anything about Vaughn being ..."
Her muscles clenched at the mention of Vaughn's name. "It's none of my business," she said as firmly as she could.
"So you don't care that he's--"
"We're no longer together. We broke up, he moved on ..."
"He's a--" Weiss's eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "It's not like he decided to move to France, Syd. He's a zombie now."
Sydney closed her eyes and groaned as her most recent run-in with Vaughn flashed in her mind. He'd been the first to intercept her when she'd fled from Rambaldi's secret laboratory, his skin cold to the touch, his eyes vacant, and his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth as he'd reached for her head.
Her luck with boyfriends was turning out to be quite disastrous.
"It's his life," she tried to say casually.
"You really don't care?"
"Weiss, I have Dad issues and Mom issues and am trying really hard not to have ex-boyfriend issues too, okay?"
He nodded, gave her a sympathetic smile, and appeared fine with dropping the subject before apparently having an epiphany. "Do you know how Vaughn became ... you know?"
Sydney raised an eyebrow. "A zombie?"
"Yeah."
"No. Why? Do you think Sloane or Sark may have had something to do with it?"
"Actually ..." Weiss fidgeted in his seat and kept his eyes glued to the road. "My hypothesis is pointing in a different direction ..."
Sydney's eyebrow raised even further up as her mouth fell open. "Are you saying that you think I--"
"I'm just thinking out loud," Weiss murmured, still refusing to meet her eyes.
"I am not a zombie maker!"
There was a brief moment of complete quiet. Then Weiss snickered and Sydney couldn't stop herself from giggling as well.
"Those are definitely words I never thought I'd say," she said between chuckles.
Keeping his left hand on the steering wheel, Weiss reached out with his right hand to pat her shoulder, a smirk firmly planted on his lips. "I just wanted to make sure that kiss we shared last week wouldn't come back to haunt me."
Sydney felt her face flush at the mention of their kiss, but she ignored it to give Weiss a quick peck on his cheek. "Shouldn't that be, wouldn't come back to haunt me?" she corrected flirtatiously. "After all, if I turned you into a zombie, you'd be chasing after me, not yourself."
"Good point." He turned towards her and Sydney's color drained from her face as she noticed, for the first time, the sweat breaking out along his hair line, the dark circles ringing his eyes, and the froth building up in the corners of his mouth. "I've always said you're one of the sharpest spies we have, Syd."
She didn't even have a chance to scream before the car accelerated and veered off the road.
-the end-
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